I hope no one ever reads our blog.

Zombie

People depend too much on me, leave me alone. I like being by myself.
I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.


Fabien.

We're back.

XO

Miss you- Aaliyah

I've been putting this off for a while and I've been wanting to tell someone this but I just didn't know how and Nabil is the only person that I've sort of skimmed the top of the subject. In September 2010 I was brought out of my comfort zone, I was thrown completely out and my mind set completely changed about everything. I never thought you could be a stranger in your own city. How awful is that feeling? I continuously seek friendship and go out thinking that I'll find my place once again and I'll continue on as things where before. But it's not true. I'm completely broke, I barely sleep, I can't tell you what I eat during the day because I don't care what it is if it's food I'll eat it, and I drink, CONSTANTLY. I feel like Tupac in one of his songs I just haven't gotten to the point where I'm snatching purses. I know this isn't anything new because it happens to a lot of people but I never saw myself to be that person that would be thrown off track. Because you see, I knew what I wanted and I saw my future. Crystal clear, no doubt in my mind. Now my entire mind is filled with doubts instead of hopes and dreams. As retarded as this may sound I feel like a complete nobody. I am grateful for most of the people in my life some I wish I never met. This feels good, I can write whatever the fuck I want just completely get it out of my system. How can one person feel so fucking alone when half of the world is going through the same thing? Maybe even worse? God I feel so whiny it disgusts me. Why on EARTH do I feel like something is going to happen? Like something good, I can feel it. I just don't know what it is. Luck has always been on my side *knocks on wood* but I just feel so unfocused. Even while I'm writing this. Not focused at all. It's killing me inside that this thing inside of me is eating me up physically and mentally but I can't put my finger on it. Maybe I'm just a train shifting tracks with minor technical difficulties, I just wish I'd get to my regular route so I wouldn't feel like a complete basket case. I HAVE NO MONEY AND MAJOR TRUST ISSUES. Like wandering but I'm not lost ya know?
A sister once told me that you may think everything has changed but it hasn't. And I don't think that everything has changed, I just changed... I grew up. I guess you could say. So even though everything has stayed the same. I haven't. Maybe it's time to face reality and man up and see what the future has to offer me, by myself. But don't worry sweetheart, I'll always keep you in my heart. Forever and always even though you may not be the one I end up with. You changed me internally and externally. And I thank you for that.


Best regards
peace and love,
Fabien

XO

its strange having your heart remember what you're mind can't

En garde, bang bang its a war of the hearts


We can either make love or we can spar


Either way we hollerin out good lord


Either one who solve the problem at all


Spent the first half tryin to get it on


Spent the next half tryin to get gone


Whats wrong, sayin nothin at all


Watch your head, girl a lie is too tall


Dont go..f- it, do what you want


Im out the front door


Im waitin on your call


Forgot it took place


Rememberin it all


Feels like forever, the moments so small


Its x-large


Your eyes soft


Your kiss warm


Your cold heart


Fresh frost


Trying to milk it off


Bags Pack that i dont want nothin lost


Trippin out and then up where you start


Carousel at the merry go park


Pretty horse..let me off


Shed a tear, but i’m too tired to mourn


I’ll do it tomorrow


When you’re gone and you can’t see me at all


Boulevard, love and hate, we at the cross


Buckle up..rough course…Taxi

legend

xo fabien

so much love

“Placido, I don’t know why we ever broke up.”

good morning Calgary

"how can I get a grip if I lost my main squeeze?"

I don't want your stuff.
I want you.
I want to be around your flirtatious ways.
I want to eat hot sauce with everything again.
If Pac goes so does Biggie 6 months later.
we'd drink so much, but I remember all of those times.
I've never laughed so much in my life with someone.

I'd post a song or a long ass paragraph about you Nabil.
But what's the point if I can express it?
What's the point if you already know how I feel about you.
honestly, I don't need to say much to you except that I love you.

you're not going anywhere.
xo

however vast the darkness, we must supply our own light

"You know it’s time to slow down when you tell stories about your life and people don’t believe them."

love

cause if we go, just know we won't make it back

"The decade is coming to an end. I had a good run, but the best it yet to come — as it should be for all of us. Here’s to another ten more, and infinity after that. Here are a few things I have learned to live by throughout the ten most crucial years of my life. Hope you enjoy them.

No need for new year’s resolution, always keep reinventing and making yourself better throughout every single day and throughout both big and small experiences.

Rejoice in the small things, never get upset by them.

Always keep those you love close. Always.

If you’re true to yourself, when people misunderstand you, you will learn to let it go.

You don’t need a holiday to celebrate, everyday can be a celebration if you’re with the right people.

If you have to always try to prove yourself to people, they are not your friends.

No one has to know what you’re working towards. Never boast the success of something you haven’t completed.

I see life as a teacher; if you don’t always try to improve and learn, you are wasting the valuable time given to you.

Never forget to say thank you.

The world is at your feet when you have the courage to stand up. Courage is what kings and queens are made of. It should come second nature to you.

Always remain a kid at heart. Crying one minute doesn’t mean you can’t laugh the next. Every second is a second chance. Always use it wisely.

Never be afraid to talk to people; you never know what those people could possibly mean to you in the future. Getting to know some people is like opening a gift baskest; you never know what you’re going to get, but it almost never disappoint. But you have to be careful, because you’re a gift also, and not everybody deserve you.

Think to yourself, and be your hardest critic, that’s how you’re able to mold your character.

There’s an infinity more, but these are just a few of the things that I live by. Hope all is well, and hopefully life can continue feeling like a good morning, forever.."

via forever good morning.

words of widom

no better love

baby baby, I said baby

Fabien you're going to love this

“Yeah, all those things, responsibility, pressure. It's a bit stressful. I try and come to terms with it by not thinking about it.”

did I tell you I was going to go to New York this Spring Break with you? Did I also tell you that I am so excited for that? I think the worlds waiting for us to travel together since we've done everything we could together here in Calgary. I'm going to Coachella as well and then Shambhala, you're coming with me. I'm going to Bamboozle with Rudy. I don't have a job yet. I need one really bad and it's not fair that some people have two jobs and I can't even find one! I'm trying to convince my mom to let me adopt this dog named Shiner (via facebook) but she's being a cunt like always about it and it's not fair cause I need someone.





I wish I could wear dresses all day everyday, I hate pants and shirts and everything else so uncomfortable.